The Super Couple

Dr. Dismal slouched in his office chair after yet another failed attempt to take over the tri-state area. This time, he had developed a machine to brainwash the mayor into handing him the key to the city. He called the machine the hypnosisinator and had also used it to hypnotize a captive audience to remain seated to watch the ceremonial proceedings, which was necessary for the event to be legally binding.

Right after the key was given to Dr. Dismal, a voice echoed throughout the arena, "Dr. Dismal! You will never receive the key to the city!"

"What? Who said that?" Dr. Dismal shielded his eyes from the sun and looked out into the crowd. "Seriously, it's too bright and I'm a night owl. I can't see anything!"

"It's me! Miss Terri! I have come to take you down!" Suddenly, a young woman flew from the middle of the crowd and onto the stage. She was wearing exactly what you might expect from a super-hero: tight purple spandex, a white cape, and a mask that somehow changed shape depending on her facial expression underneath. Seriously, that mask technology is weird. Like, how does a mask blink? Miss Terri cleared her throat, "Ahem. People probably don't care about my mask."

Ah, right. My mistake. Ok, so Dr. Dismal was obviously shocked at the appearance of his long-term nemesis, but knew he had won this time. "It's too late this time Miss Terri! I already have the key, and with so many people in the audience, there is no legal way for you to take it from me. See..."

Dr. Dismal then began a rather obnoxious monologue about how when he was little, he did not have the key to his own room and was forced to change with his door open, causing the next door neighbor to see him naked on multiple occasions, which is why he wanted the key to the city so he could lock his door at night.

Wait. What?

Like, call a locksmith, dude. Also, why would the key to the city help in this case?

Dr. Dismal seemed confused. "Wait. This can open and close any door in the city, right?"

Throughout the entire monologue, Miss Terri had been dismantling the hypnosisinator, but looked up from her work for a moment to say, "No, no. That key is largely just ceremonial at this stage. I don't think it actually does anything."

"Ah. My mistake." Dr. Dismal sighed and handed the key back to the mayor. "Well, curse you Miss Terri... I have been foiled again."

"I didn't even do anything this time, though." Miss Terri said before pressing a button and canceling the signal. "It was mainly the narrator this time."

"Ah yeah. Curse you Narrator as well..." Dr. Dismal sighed again, "I wish you would have at least let me tell my backstory instead of narrating over it."

Ah, right. My bad. Next time, maybe.

"Right. Ok. See you guys later." Dr. Dismal then casually walked out of the arena while the crowd began to regain their consciousness.

Back at home, he removed his ridiculous costume and pulled out his cell phone to begin his nightly ritual of hope-scrolling Twiddler while muttering to himself, "I just do not understand what I'm doing wrong. Every single time I try to take over the tri-state area, Miss Terri comes in and messes everything up. I feel like I need something more in life."

After he said this, he sighed and looked around the room. There were clothes littered about and a bowl of old, now dried rice sat on his desk. Tattered textbooks had become makeshift tables on the floor for blueprints to inventions that would never work. Honestly, his life was a mess.

"Hey. No need to get snippy with me. I'm just going through a rough patch, is all." He said, obviously delirious. He had focused so much on trying to take over the tri-state area that his whole life had spiraled out of control.

"Ok. Look. I have had a rough day... Well, a rough year. Just leave me alone." He needed to find happiness, but didn't know where to look. Clearly, he was a failure of a villain. Maybe he should settle down and start a nice family life?

Dr. Dismal sighed again and opened Ember, the newest dating app. He created a profile with a somewhat photoshopped image of himself and started browsing the people in his area while muttering to himself, "No. No. No. Ew. No. No. Wait..."

He landed on the picture of a young woman: Terri Terra. The bio read, "Hero by day, student by night. Physics undergrad. A bit busy, but down to get coffee or something." There was no doubt, this was Miss Terri.

He swept right. He knew this would be a good way to exact revenge. All he had to do was get her to form romantic feelings for him, and then he would be able to take over the tri-state area without any competition!

Dr. Dismal (D): Hey
Miss Terri (M): Hello Eugene

Wait. Dr. Dismal's first name is Eugene? "Yes, it is. Just shut up about it."

D: I saw your profile. I have a PhD in physics and would be happy to help tutor you, if you know what I mean?
M: Right. I am working on electricity and magnetism now and cannot seem to understand Gauss's Law.
D: Ah, right. That one takes a bunch of integration, but that's it. It's just geometry, don't overthink it.

Ok. Wait. I don't think the readers actually care about this stuff, so I'll skip forward a few days. They had moved on from Ember and on to basic texting.

M: Well, thanks to you, I passed the test with flying colors!
M: :super-hero emoji:
D: Happy to hear that! E&M was my hardest undergrad class, but it ended up being essential to my thesis!

Wait, they are still talking physics? Isn't this supposed to be somewhat romantic or something? "Look. Narrator, I might need some help here." Dr. Dismal said to himself.

"I'm not talking to myself. I am clearly talking to you, the Narrator" Dr. Dismal said again to himself. As the narrator to the story, I am not allowed to provide my own personal opinion on the lives of those I am narrating.

"Look. I think I might like her." He said, knowing that Miss Terri was way, way, way, way, way out of his league.

"Shut up. She's smart and funny. And with her powers, I imagine we could have a lot of fun..." He trailed off, clearly thinking lewd thoughts.

"Will you help me or not?" He said to again himself. Suddenly, his phone buzzed.

M: Hey. Do you want to meet at the local library and help me with thermodynamics?

"Oh, shoot. What do I do? If we meet up, she'll know it's me!" He said, without thinking about the fact that Dr. Dismal always wears a ridiculous disguise to hide his identity. "Oh, right." He said.

D: I would be happy to! What are you studying?
M: Heat transfer.
D: Sounds good.

Dr. Dismal knew that if he was going to make a move, now was the time. "Wait, I don't think now is the best time, actually." Now was the time! Dr. Dismal began nervously typing,

D: If you want, I can give you a private lesson on heat transfer at my house later ;)

Was that a pick-up line?

"Look! I don't do well under pressure." Clearly not. Nevertheless, she texted back,

M: Only if you are willing to do a deep dive, if you know what I mean? ;)

What? What is happening? I guess the super-hero and super-villain are going on a date after all!

"That's right we are! Don't ever question my methods again!" Dr. Dismal said satisfactorily, knowing that his room would need hours of deep cleaning before anyone else would dare enter.

"Touche" He said. "Touche."

Note: I was trying to have a strong narrative voice. Don't know if it worked!

Prompt: the villain went undercover on a dating app in order to sabotage the hero’s dating life and break their heart. The only problem: they actually began to fall for them.

results matching ""

    No results matching ""