The Genie Ordero

Genies are creatures of immense magical power, capable of granting almost any wish. What most people don't know is that the genie trade is actually the world's longest-standing pyramid scheme -- both because we were created in ancient Egypt and because our goal is to actively recruit more genies.

See, every genie was a human who wished to become a genie for some reason or another. Some want immortality. Others want magic. A few people just want to escape from their lives and are willing to do whatever it takes to do so.

I joined the genie ranks for none of those reasons. Simply put, I was a lawyer in my last life and I found the limitations of magic law to be utterly fascinating.

Why can genies only grant 3 wishes? Why is it that granted wishes are always technically fulfilled, but wrong in spirit? Where does the magic come from? Is it hiding in the lamp?

Let me try to answer these questions...

All magic comes from the same source: a coalition of genies run by the Genie Board. When summoned, every genie is given a magical reservoir that is allotted for up to 3 wishes; however, the size of the reservoir changes based on how many genies they have recruited. In addition, we are provided an annual bonus based on the amount of magic left over after every wish session. In order to stretch the magic to its limits, genies will often use the least magic possible on every wish to save up for the next one and return some back for their bonus. This means that each wish is usually only partially fulfilled.

Now, you might be wondering why genies don't just ask their summoners to wish to become genies. After all, this would not only increase their magical reservoir, but also end the wish session, sending all magic back for their bonus. This is because there are also restrictions on human-genie interactions imposed on us by the board:

  1. We are not allowed to request wishes
  2. Every wish must undergo peer review by at least one genie reviewer
  3. We are not allowed to discuss where magic comes from or how much magic we have left for remaining wishes.

There are a few more restrictions, but these are the major ones. For now, I want to briefly describe how the Genie Order is different than the rest of the Genie Coalition:

  1. We get our annual bonus from a different source, so there is no need to save magic at the end of every wish session.
  2. We pledge to always grant wishes in their entirety. This means we might need to ask probing questions to ensure that the human wishes for precisely what they actually want. No more, no less.
  3. We usually request another member of the Genie Order for review because our standards are higher. We do not want the wish to be merely technically fulfilled, but also to make the human happy because of their wishes.
  4. If anyone wishes to become a genie, we must -- and I mean must -- also ask how much magic they want. This skirts around the genie board's requirements because we are not explaining how magic works, only asking if they want a lot of it. Usually, they do.

Point 4 is very important, so let me explain it a bit further.

Because we must fulfill wishes in their entirety, we must provide extra magic to each of the new recruits, and this magic must go somewhere, so where does it go? Well, into the coffers of the Genie Order instead of the Coalition. This magic is used to not only make our wishes better, but also to pay for our annual bonuses, which is often higher than those in the Genie Coalition.

Also, because we are only peer reviewing other members of the Genie Order, we can ensure that every human is happy with the outcome of their wishes and that no one outside the order knows where the excess magic goes.

If I'm honest, the entire idea is a bit of a legal loophole, but I'm happy to use it to help people out.

And now, as my new recruit, I cannot wait to see what you do! Let's make the world a better place together!

Prompt: You are a sympathetic genie.

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